Oh, blog. I miss you.

But I have a midterm on Tuesday and I might just fail. I also have a busy weekend. I am off to do homework now in hopes of not failing. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers, please! It would mean a lot to me to pass this course. It is a personal challenge and something I haven't always believed myself capable of. This midterm is worth 40% of my final grade.

I hope I pass.

Talk to you next week.

Since when do midterms take over lives?

I feel bad for not updating more. I have a midterm in eight days (!) and I am already panicking for it. It'll be a doozy. I am hoping after the midterm, the one the day after it, and the marking that I'll have to do after that, that things will be slightly more sane for a bit. Math is hard. And it scares me sometimes. Is that okay? Even for a math student? I am getting frustrated. Maybe I should go see my prof during office hours tomorrow. She intimidates me, but I really like and admire her and last time I saw her she really cheered me up and encouraged me. That's an idea.

This weekend, through a series of complicated circumstances, I'll be staying at home and not going out at all. So instead of trying to get done what studying I can, I've decided to invite a couple of friends over for pizza on Saturday. I hope they can come. I think maybe what I need is a bit of social interaction. I've been hitting the books pretty hard, and while socializing with other students over lunch is wonderful, it's not the same kind of de-stressment (is there a real word for that?) as hanging out outside of school. I am hoping this does the trick. Also hoping that someone can actually come, since I am not the only one in the throes of midterms.

Knitting! Oh, I have been doing a little bit. I frogged the Wavy scarf because I made a couple mistakes that bothered me. I finished felting and blocking the Lopi mini-tote. Pictures forthcoming when I get camera access. I started a pair of toe-up wool DK weight socks. Did I talk about those? They are getting worked on. One is almost done (cast-off pending having enough wool to knit the other one as high) and the other one is up to the heel. They are a priority because:

COLD FEET SUPERSEDES ANY CURRENT WIP-ALONG.

And that is all I need to say.

math kicks knitting's arse. oh well.

It has occurred to me to update my blog. A novel idea. I have had an uneventful week, full of math and some flutter about strikey stuff (though not by me or my union) and even a bit of knitting. My feet have been cold! I bought some DK weight superwash to counteract this: tall warm wool socks. I have one almost done. It comes almost to my knee. That's not too shabby for a week's knitting by a busy monkey! I learned the figure-8 toe-up cast on method (I love this method) and the fat yarn makes the sock a breeze to knit up. Well, tedious, but fast. It's great stress knitting, which is what I need.

I got Christmas shopping done today! Three shirts, two pairs of gloves, and two packages of hair elastics and head bands for $27. Not too bad, sez I. It comprises two lovely gifts for two little sisters. Yes, I was making scarves for them. But both their birthdays fall before Christmas, so either they get the scarves for birthdays and clothes for Christmas, or the other way around.

I have a math assignment due Monday that I haven't started yet. Hey, I only slacked off a little bit. I have been busy with marking, and other homework, and very very tired. Now the PDEs homework crunch begins. The assignment that is due is for analysis, and hopefully I can gulp it down in a few hours. I got all my work done for the weekend so I can concentrate on school. We are at T minus 11 days until my PDEs midterm, and there is NO FREAKING WAY that I feel ready to write it that soon. This is a hard class, and although the daily homework idea (novel, that) I've tried to implement has me understanding the stuff better than ever, well, understanding is a long ways from remembering and applying. Formulas slide around my head like little drops of mercury. We get a table of Laplace transforms on the test, which helps, but there will be a jillion other formulas I'll need to remember. Time for colour-coded flash cards! Really I mean construction paper. It costs a buck and it lasts a long time. It's more cheerful and fun than plain index cards, but you have to use dark felt pens and I am not sure I have any that do not stink.

Thankfully this weekend is wide open for study time. I want to go to the farmers' market tomorrow (last time until May) but other than that, I can study all weekend. What fun. If I can pull my act together for this midterm I will be a triumphant monkey, for the idea of this class has taunted me for years. Doing well in it would please me greatly.

Oh, my analysis class has a midterm the day after PDEs. In all the excitement, I almost forgot. Better hit the books.

Busy being responsible and stuff.

Sorry, not much blogging these days. I'm trying to do grownup things like catch up on homework (hey, it's a grownup thing if your parents aren't making you do it!) and keep up with work, and write letters of protest about the BC labour dispute with the teachers. I'm ashamed and appalled at the government's treatment of the teachers, and I don't use those words lightly. When they didn't get their way in contract negotiation, they legislated a contract! Teaching was declared an essential service in the last labour dispute, so teachers don't have the right to strike. I am so glad that the BCTF is showing the government that they can't just be bullies. CUPE is helping too, and boy I bet that is causing some ruckus. I sent off my letters tonight. I think I should send some letters of support, too, because I know that it can be demoralizing to be in the thick of a labour dispute.

Knitting is taking a back seat for a while. Blah. But I have more pressing things to do. Like PDEs homework. I need to take it more seriously. And work stuff. Some easy, some hard. I'll get it done...

Bad monkey. No banana!

I am sorry. I mean to update more often than I have been this week. I have been sick. Nothing debilitating, but just draining and not-fun, and I've had homework and real work to do too. Not much energy was left for blogging.

I am trying to plan my life. I don't know what I want to do when I graduate. I would love to do a master's degree. But, I don't know if I'd be accepted. And it seems like everyone who goes gets really stressed out, and I don't want more stress in my life. Mind you, I need to just learn to deal with stress and then this will be a non-issue. My other idea, also stressful, is teaching. This means another twelve months of education, but that's no surprise. When I started this degree my plan was always to get my B.Ed. as well. I like the interaction with people, and the challenge of getting abstract ideas across to those who are unfamiliar with them. I don't know how good I'd be at it. I'd be competent, but I want to be excellent, and I don't know if I would be. But maybe excellency is a lifetime in achieving. My grandma was a teacher; she just retired two years ago. A good friend of mine was also a teacher, and thinks I could be too, although he'd rather see me get my M.Sc. Hmm. You can spin both teaching and grad school in horrific or terrific ways.

I love the thrill of research on a good day, when things are finally rolling along and you are tracking down a good idea and getting some real and exciting numbers. It's every bit as good as seeing the light dawn in a student's eye when she finally understands how to use the quadratic formula.

For every good day, there are any number of bad days, where the ideas you were pursuing are not working, and you can't understand the arcane terminology used in some guy's paper relating to the area you're working in. Or the students are talking when you are addressing them, and paying no attention, and complaining about you and the prof who teaches lecture. I guess you have to pick what you can deal with. Which would discourage me more? Inconsiderate, bored students, or going silently crazy in a crowded office doing impossible research? I'm honestly not sure.

I'm also thinking I want to move away next year. I won't say much on this, in case I don't get to. I'm going to try to find a way, but if it doesn't work out, I don't want to have to explain it to everyone. I love it here, but sometimes going away is good for me. I've done it before and it might be time, come next September, to do it again. It's hard because so much of my family, immediate and extended, lives in the area. I love them. We are close. I would take them all with me if I could. But I find that if I leave, I try more new things, and I find richer experiences, and I rely more on my own strength, and in doing so, gain confidence.

That is not all true. Probably the most enduring lesson from both times I lived away was how much I need my friends and family. There come times when we need people. I've had my locks broken so I was locked out of my apartment in the middle of the night, with nowhere to go, and it was 30 below zero. A friend put me up in comfort and style, and helped me contact my landlord the next morning. I've had friends help me move. I don't drive and can't afford movers, so I appreciate their help so much. I had my knapsack stolen, with cash, ID, music, and my food and water for the day taken. Friends and family helped me replace all of these things and lent me money so I could pay my rent, and my landlady gave me an extension on the rent very generously until I could get home to family to borrow cash. There are so many other things they've helped me with, not to mention moral and emotional support on so many occasions. Am I really ready to give all this up and move across the country (even part way)? Is anyone ever ready?

I'm scared. Things are going pretty great despite my minor complaints. I'm just not sure what the next step is. These are big thoughts for a little monkey and it drives me to knitting-as-escapism: knit, because I can get something done that way, and I won't fail at it, and then it keeps me from having to think about other things.

Sigh. I know it will all work out. I just don't know how or when. I am excited though, to see what I will be doing in a year! I have no idea.

I never talk about math.

For being a math student, I sure don't discuss it much. I guess I don't have interesting things to say that you can't find in any textbook, most of the time. Except once I made up a feeble math joke. I won't share it because it's dependent on too much context...

I haven't been doing much original math thought. By the time I get through with school and work, my interest has waned. That's kind of bad, but it's just how it is and I mostly don't feel guilty about it.

My computer thinks about math all the time. It tests candidates for Mersenne primes in the hopes of finding a new Mersenne prime. Your computer can do this too, if you are interested. Read about it from the folks at GIMPS.

I really enjoy statistics. I used to think it was a dull field until I started finding practical applications. Now it is kind of fun. I haven't taken much, though, and I'd like to pick up another course if I can ever find the time. There weren't any this term or I would have snapped it up. Next term's course will have to fight with about seven other courses I would like to take. I met a student today who wants me to help him learn stats next term. I think I'd enjoy that. I haven't tutored much stats but I thoroughly enjoyed it when I did.

So the fields I most enjoy are: statistics, number theory, and mathematical biology. I think that's kind of funny because they are so disparate. Mind you, mathematical biology needs some statistics, but it gets a lot more involved than just running an ANOVA test. Maybe I should focus on the math-bio, because it ties several areas of math together and has practical applications. It's kind of an up-and-coming area of math research, whereas number theory is already hot. Both are terribly exciting.

I love the purity and intricacy of theorems, and discovering properties of sets of numbers. But it's also fun to work on a practical problem modelling animal behaviour or population biology. I'm not too concerned with choosing one over the other at this point. Maybe I ought to pick one and claim it is my primary interest, but I think I'm going to talk to one or two profs and see if they have any ideas for me. I need to start researching grad schools in earnest, too. Hmm. I had better get on it!

Minisweater!

I finished this on Saturday (I think it was Saturday...) and took pictures this morning. It only took two hanks of Manos del Uruguay, and I probably have the stunning amount of 5 metres left over. Or thereabouts. Not a lot, but not a scary heart-thumping tiny amount either.


















This nice big picture has the truest colour. I had no photographer so I apologize for the quality of pictures. The yarn was beautiful. I want everyone to know that this only took two hanks. I did not think that would be enough, but it was. Now we have a non-scarf solution to the "Two Hanks of Manos?!" problem.


Here's a not-so-great self-timer picture.

Right: From the back. It was too loose (I think I might have what the sewers call a "sway back"). I put in a ribbon to pull it in. I have to replace it with one a bit longer so I can do a bigger bow.

Overall I am happy with how it has turned out, except I am not sure that I have the right body type to carry it off. It makes me look top heavy. I wanted to get your opinion but I couldn't find anywhere suitable to take a full body picture so you will just have to reassure me that it isn't a big deal...

Now here are some of the other things I have been working on. The trio of scarves is coming along nicely. I decided that the yellow one would be knitted, in the Wavy pattern. I'm a good one-quarter done the knitting. Once I get into the groove of it, it goes quickly. It's just a matter of sitting down and finding that groove.
















Here's a detail of the crocheted scarf I just did up this weekend, and a full-body pose. The thing is long, probably seven and a half feet. I apologize for my measurement-confused mind. I know full well that 7 1/2 feet means 2.5 metres (okay, a bit less), but my mind thinks in feet lots of the time. That's not very young-Canadian of me. With middle and long distances I think in metres or kilometres, though.

This is scarf #3, as far as it is done at the moment. Lots to do on this one yet, and it's a bit tedious. At least it is good as a nice relaxing task. I've got lots of time to get this one done (if it isn't for Christmas, it's for her February birthday).


Lastly, here's what I'm plugging away at while watching TV. I don't watch much (one or two shows per week) so it's taken me a while to get this far. The yarn is Araucania Nature Wool. I'm digging the tonal variations of this yarn, but my LYSes don't sell it so I have to venture farther when I want it.



Now is my chance to rave again about Great Big Sea. I bought their all-traditional album, The Hard and the Easy, which was released today. This is the first time in my life I have bought an album the day it was released. I've been looking forward to this moment for a long time. I ripped it as soon as I bought it so that I could lend it to my mom, since she likes them too. I'm listening to it at the moment, and it is fantastic. I need to find the time to sit down and give it a good, concentrated listen. Some of the tunes are very well-known, even to me, but I think others are less so. It is so good! Great Big Sea has a fantastic take on any song they choose to sing, and a very unique and infectious style. I am crazy about them. You ought to check them out. Even if you just download one song from iTunes. If you want to know which song you should download, ask me and let me know what kind of music you like - fast, slow, rock, straight-up trad, etc. I cannot recommend them enough. Now I just have to figure out how to be at one of their concerts when they go on tour.

Daily fibre intake.

Yes, I borrowed a camera again. Would you like to see some pictures?

This is today's impulse purchase. I was wandering around Zellers, minding my own business, when I saw those long skinny scarves that have been in style for the past year (probably longer elsewhere). Today I saw some that were quite open and looked crocheted, and they were totally cute and in great colours, but when I felt them I wasn't impressed with the quality of yarn or work. Probably because I am crafty like that. And, I knew I could make it for cheaper. I had my sisters in mind, for Christmas gifts, and they wouldn't hand wash anything unless it would turn to pure gold. So I hopped over to the yarn (read: acrylic) section of the store and hooked myself up with scarf supplies.

It is really a bonus to be able to make something for cheaper than you can buy it. I find myself often settling for making something for around the same price as I would pay to buy it new, but the payoff is the satisfaction of doing it myself and having something custom made. Often it is also better quality too, because I don't drop a lot of cash on new clothes.

As you can see, I already started one of the scarves. I think I will do two colours for each scarf: one green-orange-green striped, one blue-orange-blue, and one yellow-something-yellow. I haven't decided what should go with the yellow. And the Red Heart Tiki yarn that is behind the Bernat satin (best cheap acrylic I've ever used, by the way. Soft and inexpensive, and flows through the fingers like magic) will be carried along with all of them. It was the most expensive of the yarns, at $7.47 a ball, and at that price boy I am going to make it go the extra mile. But it's cute. If I like how it works up I will get more in a different colourway for myself. I am not a huge novelty yarn person, but they have their place (the yarns and the people) and this carry-along is understated enough for low-maintenance me.

I would also like to officially apologize for a boring week of blog postings. I had a very busy week, climaxing yesterday and this morning with a whole lot of marking I had to have done and handed back by 10:30 a.m. And that brutal PDEs assignment I was working on? Still feeling good about getting that done. Because I spent my week working more on school work than on the minisweater. Note the dirty coffee cup. I went through a lot of coffee and Postum this week. I feel awesome because I got so much done. Yes, I am totally slacking off today. I was up till midnight marking last night, and then I slept until 4:15 and got up and finished marking, and then took a "nap" from 7 to 8:30 a.m. Then I went to school.

I have a study date with a friend tonight so I will get something done. But for now, I am catching up on the underside of my life - all the other things I love, like yarn. I want to play the fiddle at some point today too.

Ah, my beautiful minisweater. I didn't think two hanks of Manos would be enough. But it looks like it will be. I just have the sleeves left, and of course the finishing, and then it will be done. I don't want big sleeves, which is good, because I really don't have much yarn left. I've also put a ribbon through the bottom so that it fits better. Shirts and sweaters tend to gap out in the back for me. Hopefully I will get this done this weekend. So many of the WIP-along-ers have done so much, and I have hardly knit a stitch this week. I have nefarious plans to outwit them all and knit through MY ENTIRE STASH before Christmas, ha ha ha ha ha. Just you wait, I will knit seven afghans, a dozen sweaters, and many pairs of socks. Then I will win the prize!

Today officially has no knitting content. It's 9 pm and I still have a stack of marking to finish (and record marks from) before bed.

I had a much better day today. Actually it was pretty tough in that I worked really hard and for many hours didn't feel like I was getting anywhere on that PDEs assignment. Then I went for help, and figured out a bit more, and worked some more, but it wasn't done and it was time for class. My prof said we could have an extra hour after class to finish if we wanted. I was discouraged and didn't think I could polish it off in that time -- but I did! It felt so good. One of my classmates looked it over and didn't think it was patent nonsense, even if he wasn't sure exactly how my solution worked. Then my prof looked at it too and said I was on the right track. So I think my solution worked. Boy, that was a lot of work. It wasn't an eleventh-hour finish, either, it was more like a thirteenth-hour. (Does that work?)

Doing something really hard and succeeding at it has got to be one of the most euphoric feelings to pick up your day. That, and placing a big Elann order for sock yarn...

Oh! And I got an invitation to a jam session. I am totally intimidated though. The other people are more talented musicians, and they are profs. Can I hang out with them? I am not sure. I don't think I'll have the guts unless other students are going. I am just a beginner at the fiddle anyway. But I haven't played with people since spring. It would be a good challenge for myself. Hmm....

work again. (sorry)

Super brief update. I been busy. There is a lot of work to be done, and boy my PDEs class is hard. Everyone warned me that it was. I know a few really, really smart people, and they said this class was hard. I mean, it is do-able. But hard.

Five-question assignment due tomorrow. The first four questions took less than two hours. The fifth I've been working on and working on and if I got it right this time then I am half done. Class consensus is that this question is killing us and the few people that have answers aren't sure they are right...

It's due at 1 pm sharp. I have the morning off so I will work on it tonight, and tomorrow if need be, and I just hope I can get something done for it. It must be worth more than all the other questions put together and I don't want to fail one of two assignments!

I am stressed.

And I have work to do, for my three jobs. It is hard to balance. But Thanksgiving is this weekend! I can get caught up on all my work and homework! Seriously. Catching up is feasible. I love it.

I think I may break the yarn diet and place an Elann order tomorrow. They have sock yarn, good basic sock yarn, and I am seriously tempted to buy a bit of the cashmere they are coming out with. Just one ball. Just a little scarf. My momma taught me to save up and then splurge on luxuries when you can afford them, so you know how the other half lives.

I wanted to go to Stitch'n'Bitch last night but I had an awful day (cried in class, found out I wasn't eligible for a scholarship, spilled my Postum all over my assignment) and had lots of work to do. So I have to go next week.

Time to get back to the work.

Still no pictures

Really, I would like to have better camera access. But I did some digital camera online shopping and decided my hard earned three hundred dollars were better spent elsewhere, at least for now. I'm making in the neighbourhood of $120 a week okay? It adds up slow!

I worked hard today, and boy howdy I am tired, but it feels really good. I got a lot done. Not for myself, but for work, which is good in its own way.

I had an analysis midterm this morning too and the sky did not fall. Other than that, I know not. We will see.

Now I can do some knitting. I am slowly plugging away on Glampyre's shrug, and yay it appears I have enough yarn. I wanted to finish tonight but I bet I'll be in bed in an hour. I should be marking but I forgot to pick up my second batch of work before going home. Really I did. I will have time to do it still. I'll pick it up tomorrow.

I am glad I will have my CBC back soon. And NHL too! I am not a big hockey fan but winter just isn't the same without everyone having plans early Saturday night.

Time to go knit while I am still awake.

Floods.

I have never claimed to be very knowledgeable about current events. I don't put a ton of effort into keeping up to date. I do try to read the news, though, and usually this has meant checking CBC every morning. I'm avoiding it, though, during the labour dispute. I check my local radio station's website, and occasionally CNN. But this leaves me with woefully inadequate coverage of national news. CTV does pretty well but for some reason I haven't been able to get in the habit of checking it every day.

I didn't know until today that Stephenville is under water. It brings back memories for me of the Badger flood in 2003. That was the first time I really took it upon myself to do something about a disastrous situation. It wasn't much, but I gave what I could.

I know we are all saturated with Katrina aftermath, and without CBC, Canadian news is not what it was. But man. This is rough. It's not about more or less disastrous than any other event. When disaster happens to you, yes you can count your blessings, but it doesn't make your problems go away.


Shelagh Rogers offers good commentary on the situation.

If you can help, the Red Cross is pitching in. They did in Badger and they did in New Orleans. Or you can look here.

I would like to point out that only nine days remain until the North American release of Great Big Sea's newest album, The Hard and The Easy. This is their first all-traditional album, one that I've been waiting for since I first started listening to them. They were my first introduction to traditional eastern Canadian folk music. They also have the distinction (in my mind) of being the only band that stopped me literally in my tracks when I first heard them. I had to know who they were, and what made their sound so different. Unison singing and accordions, on a hit music radio station? The song they played was Ordinary Day, then their hit single on top 40 radio. (Yes, they swing both ways. They do great rock/pop, and stellar trad.) I didn't know who they were, and the radio announcer maddeningly failed to mention their name after the song ended. I listened obsessively for ages until I heard their song and their name. "Great Big C? Great Big Sea? Huh."

I used to have all of their albums. Then they were stolen. I've got most of their music once again, but am not quite back up to completion. I still have to get their debut album. (Note to self: check iTunes...) I am hopping excited that in eight days, there will be more GBS goodness. They've released the song names. I was pleased by the assortment. Some are familiar to me, but others will be new.

Cod Liver Oil!?! They're doing Cod Liver Oil!! I love that song. I think it is very wryly amusing. It has a great melody to it. Others know the tune as Johnny Jump Up. Two different songs, same tune. Oh my goodness. I have been singing that song for ages and I can't wait to hear GBS doing it. It'll increase the profile of the song too, so not quite as many people will think I'm daft for belting the chorus at opportune moments. (There are more opportune moments than you might think.)

I picked up my fiddle again today. I have got to start playing regularly. It does wonders for how I feel. Plus, it's a fun skill to whip out when everyone's tipsy and genial. I also knitted a lot on the shrug I'm making from my Manos. Provided this time around it fits better (there's been a lot of frogging. I've probably knitted the equivalent of closer to two shrugs by now...), I ought to have it finished soon.

I have a midterm in the morning. I have no idea how hard it's going to be. So I'm hitting the books again now, with some fiddle music to keep me company.